I got my dates completely mixed up and was sitting on the beach in Bali, when someone I know over there, sent me a text and asked if I was leaving the next day.  It was a Tuesday and I sent a text back to say, no I wasn’t leaving until Thursday morning.  However, this got me thinking. ….. I rode back to the hotel on my motorbike thinking that I must check my ticket and hoping that I wasn’t leaving the next morning as I needed a lie in.  When I arrived I was shocked for see that my flight left that night, in only 3 hours time.  I quickly packed, went to get money to pay the bill and organised transport to the airport. In the end, I just made it to my flight.

Unfortunately, I flew with Virgin Australia, who aren’t the best.  I also had a stopover in Melbourne for 4 hours.  I arrived in Auckland at 4pm knackered. I had searched every camper van company and tried to book lots and lots, only to be continually told that they were fully booked.  Eventually I found a company with a van and booked one for a month.  I expected the van to be crap as it was the only one still available in New Zealand, but when I arrived at the camper company (Wicked Campers), it was worse than I had expected.

The company don’t supply bedding, so I needed to buy it. They spray the outside of the vans with really crap stuff … I have seen one with Popeye’s forearm and ‘wanking champion’ written on the side of the van.  Mine just had the Hulk on one side and something else I can’t remember on the other.  They also encourage people to write stuff all over the inside.  The vans a really badly equipped, but I wasn’t prepared for how shit it would be.

They don’t insure you to drive the vehicle, they state that you need to check the oil and water every time you fill up with fuel and they state that you can’t drive between dusk and dawn because you might hit an animal on the road.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I collected the van at and left their office at about 8pm in the middle of a dodgy Aukland suburb and had to go and buy bedding.  I found a shopping centre with some shop selling bedding and bought what I needed.  I had no idea of where I was and it was 10pm, the equivalent of  4am in Bali and I was jet lagged.  As well as being jet lagged, I was wound up by the experience of the crap vehicle and had trouble getting to sleep, so I took a valium and parked in the shopping centre car park.  I fell into a deep sleep and was woken 45 minutes later by a loud knocking on the van.  I opened the door to see an enormous Maori security guard who said I had to move in spite of me pleading to stay.  I had no idea where I was going, so I just drove until I saw some flat ground by the side of the road.  I parked up and got a few hours sleep.

When I woke I was so pissed off, I drove to the van rental site and demanded that I had another van.  They explained that they didn’t have one and that I’d forfeit $3,000 for the whole month as there was no refund on cancellation. After discussions, they agreed that they were short of a van in 1 week, so I took the van for a week and was refunded for the remainder of the time.

Ultimately, I had a great week in the north of the North Island and I got used to the van.  I got really weird stares from everyone, but I actually found the van OK.  The stunning scenery  took my mind off anything else I think … A happy ending :).

My bike was 2 away from this tree which randomly fell over during the day .. no insurance, so relief

 

There are lots of small independent shops and cafe/restaurants in Ubud, that sell homemade and organic food.  It’s a good place for vegetarians … and also dairy free people like me :).

I found 3 places that had home made dairy free ice cream of 1 type or another … It was superb.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All over Bali, there are amazing things to buy that could go into a house, cafe, restaurant renovation.  Most of the stuff is hardwood, so the quality and durability is great.  I took some photos of some around Ubud and a selection are below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I met a woman called Rachaell on my first night and she in turn introduced me to a mad cockley bloke called Kenny.  Both of them lived in Ubud.  We spent the evening at a bar on the edge of town, as the Friday night quiz was taking place.  The quizmaster was Swiss and the teams were international. The 3 of us formed a team and duly came last, but I need to say that I got nearly all of our correct questions and the other teams had about 10 member each.

Anyway, Kenny is involved with something called the Bali Hash Hound harriers.  Twice a week 50-100 people (about 75% ex-pats) head out into the countryside and follow a paper trail that’s been let but the hounds.  There’s a long trail (12km-15km) and an short trail (5km to 8km) and it goes through countryside that no one would ever normally get to see.  It is in a different part of the Island every time and a change to see some amazing places.  The guys who run the hash pay the local chiefs money to let the hash cross their land.

We turned up and Rachaell wanted to walk the trails, so we did.  I didn’t know what you expect and there is a whole ritual to be adhered to, i.e. different things to shout out when you find the trail, get lost etc.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

At the end of the day, there is food and lots of food and beer.  There are also drinking rituals to be gone through, including one for the newcomers that included me and Rachaell.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ubud lies in the centre of Bali and it is where all things spiritual and healthy and some normal unhealthy stuff takes place.  A lot of ex-pats have settled and set up yoga and spa retreats and restaurants and cafes.  I had hoped to take a beginners course in yoga and do some meditation, but my ribs were still broken and hurting, so all I managed was a run and 2 trips to the gym (which fucked my ribs again), during the week I was there.

I stayed in a great little guest house which was pretty central, but felt like it was in the middle of the countryside.  It was surrounded by rice paddies and very peaceful.  It was only £15 per night including a great breakfast and motorbike hire was £2.50 per day.

Here are some photos of where I stayed:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It was a great place to stay as there was always something going on in the rice fields, with people working and loads of wildlife.  I made friends with 17 ducks that did everything together as one e.g. washed, fed, moved from place to place etc. It was like they had a sergeant major giving them orders to do stuff in unison .. they very very funny.  I sat by the pool and watched them regularly.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After a week, I got tired of watching other people surf, so i moved to Seminyak, which is the very upmarket area on the other coast, about 1 hour away.  Seminyak is full of independent boutique shops, cafes, bars.  They’re mainly set up be westerners and are really well run with great decor etc.  I’d like to set up a business in bali, but everything is already here and unlike other places throughout the world, it is all already very good in terms or presentation, product and service.

Bali is the only place I have ever been to where you can go to the most high end restaurant, bar, club, hotel or shop and also get really good quality very low cost food, drink accommodation etc. in the same place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Look at the place I was staying at for £15 per night below:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bali is part of Indonesia and Indonesia is the world’s largest Islamic nation and has the 3rd highest population of any nation after China and India.  However, Bali is Hindu and there are a lot of other religions on other Islands e.g. Christians in East Timur and northern Sulawesi.  Some of the main islands of Indonesia are Java, Sumartra, Borneo, Papau, Sulawesi and many many more smaller islands.  Somehow, the nation is united and I spoke to people from all of the islands mentioned and they all feel Indonesian as well as javanese, Sumartran etc.

The Balinese Hindus seem to have endless ceremonies (many more than I ever noticed in India) and are calm and peaceful.  They make offerings all around their homes and places of work a couple of times a day.  These comprise small baskets made of woven palm or bamboo leaves in which they place offerings to the Gods and burn incense sticks.  The offerings do seem funny to me, as they are generally a small bit of rice, with perhaps a sweet or candy bar and I often see cigarettes placed in the offering, just in case the Gods fancy a fag.

There are often ceremonies on the beach, which I think are for the dead, like a funeral.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I stayed in a small guest house in a very local area and there is an open air room in which the locals were practising playing their instruments for a big ceremony.  I got to know them and have some great video of them all playing.  It sounds great.

 

I got to Bali on the 4th January.  I plotted up in Sanur on the east coast and met up with Steve Smith, his father in law Joe and Paul Mc.  Steve had been surfing for the previous month, but had caught Dengie fever the week before I arrived and was ill and out of action … he’d been in hospital on a drip for 6 hours the previous day and wasn’t even drinking beer!  My ribs were still very bad, so I couldn’t surf either, so I settled into sitting on the beach in the sunshine.  I have to say that after 2 days this became very boring.

 

 

 

 

 

 

On the first day, I walked along the beach and looked up to see a luxury yacht sinking about 1/4 of a mile offshore.  There didn’t seem to be anybody taking any notice and no vessels present trying to rescue the crew or boat.  When I came back the next day, there was  no sign of the boat, so i don’t know if it just sank or somehow it rescued itself.

The beach in Sanur is nice and quiet.  It is about a 4 mile curve of pretty empty sand, bordered by local wooden bars and restaurants and top end hotels and villas.  The beach is protected by a reef about half a mile offshore.  The other side of the reef are some good surf breaks, which work for half a year, when the wind blows in the right direction.  It is this time of year that they work, so I had to sit and watch boats going in and out with happy surfers, while I drank coconuts from the beach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I left Thailand and the day before I went, the sun finally came out.  When it did shine, the whole place looked so much better, after 2 weeks of rough sea, cloud, wind and rain.  koh Samui beach suddenly looked like a nice place.  Even the traffic and the pickups with speakers mounted on them, blaring out promotion details for events became bearable.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

In spite of the bad weather, I really enjoyed Christmas and New Year.  My sister Louise and her boyfriend really made an effort to ensure I had a great time and I appreciated it.  I loved seeing them both and Ian’s 2 boys, Daniel and Andy :).